I recently sat with a client from Brooklyn who was creating a trust for her two young children. We had worked through the asset allocation and distribution terms, but she was stalled on one critical decision: naming a trustee. Her first instinct was to name her brother. “I love him, and I trust him completely,” she said. But then she hesitated. “He’s a wonderful person,” she continued, “but he’s never been good with his own money. Is that a problem?”
It’s the right question to ask, and it’s one that goes to the heart of what a trust is really for. Naming a trustee isn’t an honorary title or a reflection of your affection. It is a job. You are appointing a fiduciary—a steward for your legacy and a custodian for your family’s future. The person you choose will have significant legal power and an even greater moral responsibility. The choice should be deliberate and clear-eyed, based on capability, not just connection.
Over decades of practice, my firm and I have seen how the right trustee can ensure a family thrives for generations, and how the wrong one can cause irreparable harm. The decision rests on more than a feeling. It rests on a handful of essential, non-negotiable qualities.
Character and Fiduciary Duty
Before all else, a trustee must have unimpeachable integrity. This isn’t just a preference; it’s a legal standard. A trustee has a profound fiduciary duty to act solely in the best interests of the beneficiaries. This means no self-dealing, no co-mingling of funds, and no prioritizing their own convenience over the needs of the trust. They must be the kind of person who does the right thing when no one is watching.
New York law takes this so seriously that the Surrogate’s Court can refuse to appoint a nominated trustee on several grounds. Under Surrogate’s Court Procedure Act (SCPA) § 707, a person can be deemed ineligible if they are found to be unqualified due to, among other things, “dishonesty, drunkenness, improvidence or want of understanding.” The law recognizes that good intentions are not enough. Character is the bedrock of stewardship.
Financial Competence
Your trustee doesn’t need to be a Wall Street analyst, but they must have a sound understanding of financial principles. They will be responsible for managing, investing, and distributing trust assets. This requires a level of financial literacy and prudence that not everyone possesses.
Consider the tasks involved: reviewing investment statements, working with financial advisors, filing tax returns for the trust, and making prudent decisions about asset growth and preservation. If your prospective trustee struggles to balance their own checkbook or lives in a state of financial disorganization, they are not the right candidate for the job, no matter how much you trust their heart. Appointing them would be an act of disservice to them and to your beneficiaries.
Commitment and Diligence
Being a trustee is an active, ongoing responsibility. It is not a set-it-and-forget-it role. It requires time, attention to detail, and persistence. The trustee must keep meticulous records, provide regular accountings to beneficiaries, and stay informed about their changing needs and circumstances. This is administrative work, and it is crucial.
Before you name someone, ask yourself honestly: Does this person have the time and the organizational skills to manage this responsibility? Are they in a stage of life where they can dedicate the necessary energy to the role? A well-meaning but overcommitted or disorganized trustee can create significant problems through simple neglect.
Impartiality and Communication
When a trust has multiple beneficiaries—such as siblings—the trustee’s role becomes even more delicate. They must be able to act as a neutral arbiter, balancing the often-competing needs and personalities of the beneficiaries without showing favoritism. This requires emotional intelligence and excellent communication skills.
A family member trustee can sometimes find this impossible. How do you say “no” to a nephew’s request for a questionable distribution without causing a rift at the next family holiday? The ideal trustee can communicate with clarity, empathy, and firmness, explaining their decisions in the context of the trust’s specific terms and their fiduciary duty. This ability to manage relationships is as important as the ability to manage assets.
Considering a Corporate Trustee
For some families, particularly those with substantial or complex assets, the best choice isn’t an individual at all. A corporate trustee—a bank or trust company—can offer a level of professionalism, expertise, and impartiality that an individual cannot. They have entire teams dedicated to investment management, tax compliance, and legal administration.
Of course, this comes at a cost, as corporate trustees charge fees for their services. They can also feel less personal than a trusted family member. However, for many of my clients, the trade-off is worth it. It removes the emotional burden from a relative and ensures a high level of professional management and, most importantly, continuity. The institution will not get sick, move away, or pass away. It will be there for the life of the trust.
Choosing your trustee is one of the most significant acts of legacy planning. It is a decision that will echo for years, long after you are gone. It demands your most intentional and objective consideration.
Before you put a name in your legal documents, the next prudent step is to create a shortlist of potential candidates—both individual and corporate. We can then schedule a private meeting to discuss the specific duties your trustee would face and analyze which candidate is best equipped to carry them out.
