A client came to my office last month after her father passed away in Brooklyn. He owned his brownstone outright and had a small investment portfolio. He never wrote a will because, as he often told her, “Your mother and you will get everything anyway, why pay a lawyer?”
He was wrong. Because he died without a will, his estate was not just his wife’s to inherit. Under New York law, his children were also entitled to a significant portion, triggering a nine-month—and counting—journey through Kings County Surrogate’s Court. This family’s story is common, born from pervasive myths about what estate planning is and who it’s for. In my practice, I see the consequences every day: families in conflict, assets frozen, and legacies diminished by avoidable court proceedings. Good intentions do not hold up in court. A plan does.
Myth 1: “I’m not wealthy enough for an estate plan.”
This is the single most destructive myth in my field. Estate planning is not about managing vast riches; it is about directing the stewardship of what you have. For most families, their most significant asset is their home. Who should live there after you’re gone? Should it be sold? Who decides?
If you do not make these decisions, the state of New York will make them for you. The rules of intestacy—dying without a will—are rigid. According to Estates, Powers and Trusts Law (EPTL) § 4-1.1, if you die with a spouse and children, your spouse inherits the first $50,000 and half the remainder. Your children inherit the rest. This statutory formula does not care about your relationships or your family’s specific needs. It is impersonal and can lead to outcomes you never wanted, like a forced sale of a family home.
A plan is about control. It is about nominating a guardian for your minor children. It is about deciding who receives the grandfather clock. This is not a function of wealth; it is a fundamental act of responsibility.
Myth 2: “My family gets along. They’ll figure it out.”
I have yet to meet a family that believes they will be the ones to fight over an inheritance. Yet will contests and fiduciary disputes are a constant presence in our Surrogate’s Courts. The belief that goodwill alone can settle an estate is, frankly, naive. Grief is a powerful stressor. When combined with money and ambiguity, even the strongest family bonds can fray.
A well-drafted estate plan is a conflict-prevention tool. It removes ambiguity by providing clear, legally enforceable instructions. Who is the executor? What are their powers? Who is the trustee for your children, and what are their duties? Answering these questions in a legal document does not show a lack of faith in your family—it shows a commitment to preserving it. You are taking the burden of these decisions off their shoulders during one of the most difficult times of their lives.
Myth 3: “A simple will covers everything.”
A Last Will and Testament is the cornerstone of many estate plans, but it is not a magic wand. A will’s primary function is to name an executor and direct the distribution of your assets after they go through probate. Probate is the court-supervised process of validating the will, paying your debts, and distributing what is left. It is a public, often lengthy, and sometimes costly process.
For many of my clients, especially those who value privacy or own property in multiple states, relying solely on a will is not the most prudent strategy. A revocable living trust, for example, can hold your assets and pass them directly to your beneficiaries upon your death, completely bypassing the probate process. This provides privacy, efficiency, and greater control. A will is essential, but it is often just one part of a more deliberate generational plan.
Myth 4: “A DIY document from a website is just as good.”
An online form cannot ask you follow-up questions. It cannot assess your family’s unique dynamics or advise you on the fiduciary duties of a trustee. These services may seem like a cost-effective shortcut, but they often create expensive, heart-wrenching problems for the families they are meant to protect.
In New York, a will must be executed with strict formalities. It requires two witnesses who must sign in a specific manner. I have seen entire wills invalidated by Surrogate’s Court because a small procedural rule was missed. The few hundred dollars saved on a template can result in tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees to fix the resulting mess. There is no substitute for counsel who can ensure your documents are not only legally compliant but also reflect a deep understanding of your intentions.
Your legacy is more than assets on a balance sheet. It is the stability and security you leave for the people you care about most. Do not leave it to chance or myth.
Before you make any decisions based on what you have heard, I encourage you to perform a simple exercise. Write down a list of your assets—your home, accounts, and personal property—and next to each, who you would want to receive it. Once you have that list, schedule a confidential call with our firm to discuss the proper legal instruments to make your wishes a reality.
