A client came to me last week. He’s recently remarried, with two grown children from his first marriage and a young son with his current wife. “Russel,” he said, “how do I make sure everyone is treated fairly when I’m gone? I don’t want my kids fighting with my wife.” This isn’t just a financial question—it’s a family question. It strikes at the heart of what we do.
Most people hear “family law” and think of divorce or custody disputes—legal processes that divide assets and formalize the end of a relationship. But in my practice, I see another side of it. We practice a forward-looking version of family law. Our work is about intentional stewardship. It’s about using legal structures not to unwind a family, but to protect it for generations to come.
The documents we create—wills, trusts, healthcare directives—are more than just papers. They are a declaration of your values and your commitment to the people you love. They provide clarity when it’s needed most and prevent the kind of disputes that can tear families apart. This is the real work of family preservation.
Beyond a Simple Will: The Modern Family Structure
A simple will that leaves everything to a spouse might have worked fifty years ago. Family structures are more varied now. We represent families in Manhattan with assets spread across multiple states, blended families with complex loyalties, and parents of children with special needs who require lifelong support. For these families, a simple will is often inadequate.
For these families, trusts are essential. A trust is a private legal agreement that allows you to set specific, ongoing rules for how your assets are managed and distributed. For a client with a second marriage, we might establish a trust that provides income for the surviving spouse for their lifetime, with the remaining principal passing to the children from the first marriage upon the spouse’s death. This balances competing interests and fulfills duties to all parties.
The goal is to remove ambiguity. When you fail to make these decisions, you leave a vacuum. And in that vacuum, misunderstandings—and resentments—can grow. A well-constructed plan is a final act of love, providing a clear roadmap that honors every relationship you’ve built.
The State’s Default Plan for Your Family
Many people don’t realize that if you fail to create your own estate plan, the state of New York has one for you. It’s called the law of intestacy, and it’s found in Section 4-1.1 of our Estates, Powers and Trusts Law (EPTL). This statute dictates a rigid, one-size-fits-all formula for who gets your property.
Under EPTL § 4-1.1, if you pass away with a spouse and children, your spouse inherits the first $50,000 of your assets plus one-half of the remainder. Your children inherit the other half. The law makes no distinction for a child who is a successful surgeon versus one who is a struggling artist. It doesn’t account for a stepchild you raised as your own. It has no mechanism for protecting a child with a disability or a history of financial irresponsibility. The state’s plan is impersonal and rarely aligns with what a person would have wanted.
By creating your own plan, you replace the state’s assumptions with your own deliberate intentions. You decide who inherits, how much they receive, and when they receive it. You maintain control over your legacy. Stewardship.
Guardianship: The Most Important Decision
For parents with minor children, the single most important part of an estate plan has nothing to do with money. It’s the nomination of a guardian—the person who will raise your children if you cannot. If you don’t name a guardian in your will, a judge in Surrogate’s Court will make that decision for you. A judge who does not know you, your children, or your values will decide who has custody.
Family members may disagree on who is best suited, leading to a painful and public court battle. The person you would have chosen might not even be considered. I’ve seen this happen, and it is a tragedy that is entirely preventable.
Nominating a guardian is a profound act of parental responsibility. It involves deep conversations about who shares your values on education, faith, and life. It’s also a practical decision. You need to name someone who is not only willing but also financially and emotionally capable of taking on such a role. We work with clients to think through this choice, name alternates, and ensure their decision is legally binding.
Ultimately, estate planning is the practice of protecting a family’s future. It provides a framework for your legacy, cares for your loved ones, and ensures your voice is heard long after you are gone. It is the most powerful form of family law there is.
If you are thinking about how to best structure your own family’s future, the first step is to get a clear picture of your assets and your intentions. We can schedule a preliminary call to discuss your family’s unique structure and outline the kind of planning that would provide true continuity and protection.
