I recently sat with a client who wanted to name her two adult children as co-executors of her will. It’s a common request, and the instinct behind it is always a good one. She wanted to be fair. One child is a meticulous accountant in Manhattan; the other is a creative, big-picture thinker living abroad. On paper, it seemed like the perfect partnership—a blend of skills and a gesture of equal love and trust.
But my job isn’t just to draft documents. It’s to anticipate the friction points that families will face long after they leave my office. The reality is that appointing two people to a role that demands singular, decisive action can create the very conflict a parent was trying to avoid. Fairness in theory can become a stalemate in practice.
The Well-Intentioned Path to Deadlock
The role of an executor is one of active stewardship. It is not an honorary title. This person—or persons—is responsible for gathering all your assets, paying your final debts and taxes, and distributing what remains according to your wishes. It’s a job with immense fiduciary duty and personal liability.
When two people are named as co-executors in New York, the law generally requires them to act in unison. This means both must agree on nearly every decision, from selling a property to paying a bill to closing a bank account. Imagine the logistics. Every check might require two signatures. Every decision to liquidate a stock portfolio needs two approvals. If one executor is unavailable, overseas, or simply disagrees, the entire process can grind to a halt.
This isn’t just an inconvenience. Disagreements can escalate, forcing the fiduciaries to seek direction from the court. Under the Surrogate’s Court Procedure Act (SCPA) § 2102, if co-fiduciaries cannot agree on a course of action, one can petition the court for direction. At that point, a judge—a stranger to your family—will make the decision. The very process you sought to streamline through a will now involves court appearances, legal fees, and further delays for your beneficiaries.
The Perils of a Forced Partnership
Even when co-executors have the best of intentions, their different personalities, risk tolerances, and communication styles can cause problems. The accountant child may want to sell a declining stock immediately, while the other may feel an emotional attachment and want to hold on. One may want to list the family home immediately, while the other wants to take time for repairs to maximize the sale price.
Neither is necessarily wrong, but their disagreement creates a deadlock. The estate’s business is frozen. Beneficiaries wait. Frustration builds, and family relationships can be permanently damaged. We have seen this happen time and again. The role of executor forces a business partnership onto people who may work together beautifully as siblings but not as fiduciaries.
Furthermore, the workload is rarely split 50/50. Typically, the more organized or geographically convenient executor ends up doing the majority of the work, while the other still holds equal legal authority. This can breed resentment. The goal of a will is the orderly transfer of a legacy, not the creation of a new, stressful job for your children that strains their relationship.
Designing a More Resilient Plan
If the goal is to honor multiple people or access different skill sets, there are more effective ways to structure your plan than appointing co-executors. These approaches are more deliberate and account for the realities of human nature and logistics.
One strong alternative is to name a primary executor and then one or more successors. You might appoint your most organized and responsible child as the sole executor, with the other named as the first alternate. This honors both but creates a clear line of authority. The designated executor has the final say, avoiding gridlock, while the successor is in place as a critical contingency.
For larger or more complex estates, another prudent choice is to name a single family member to serve alongside a professional or corporate trustee—like a bank or trust company. The family member provides the personal insight and connection, while the corporate fiduciary handles the technical aspects of tax filings, accounting, and legal compliance. This structure provides checks and balances without creating the potential for a 50/50 stalemate.
Stewardship. That is the heart of the matter. The person you name is the custodian of your legacy. The choice should be based on who is best equipped for that specific, demanding role, not on an attempt to balance family dynamics. A well-considered estate plan is one of the greatest gifts you can leave your family—not because of what it gives them, but because of the conflicts from which it protects them.
If you have named co-executors in your existing will, or are considering doing so, it may be time to reassess. The prudent next step is to schedule a review of your will’s fiduciary provisions to ensure you have a clear and workable plan for your legacy.
